Tori's Pizza
In addition to the previous post, there is a quote from Tori Amos that I used to disagree with (which is rare - I am creamed over anything that comes out of her mouth) but I think I understand now.
"What [I think] Jesus was really saying was, 'It is within you.' There are things that I would disagree with Jesus about - and I feel really good about that. That’s how it should be. Respect Him to go His way and I’ll do my thing. I mean, if you want to go and sit out in the desert for 40 days, knock yourself out. But I’m going to go and get some pizza. And it doesn't make me a lesser person because of that. There is a level where humans have been taught that they are so unworthy and incapable. What I try to inspire in my work is that we are capable."
My first reaction to this was that going and eating a pizza (Derrick, take heed! lol) was in no way helping you evolve as a spiritual individual as opposed to going to a desert for 40 days where, even if they're crazy, at least they're trying to "connect."
But after my recent revelation (see previous post), I see that what she's saying is actually much deeper. If we truly believe that God is within us and has enabled us with the capabilities to handle all challenges passed down before us so that we may grow from those obstacles... sometimes, more often than not, the most holy/spiritual/perfect thing to do is just be.
You don't need the best body you can have to be perfect/holy. Working 20 hours a day doesn't make you perfect/holy. Reading scripture doesn't make you perfect/holy. These are all just tools to help us evolve more as a spiritual being. But perfection or holiness, whichever word you want to use, is already in us as we were born in the Creator's image.
Being yourself without walls or barriers, letting people into the real you so that you may share your full and true self with them, even as strangers, because they are all your brothers as we are all one under the Creator, perhaps this what makes a highly evolved, spiritual being; recognizing that you are just as perfect/holy if you go have a pizza as you are if you go to Church because this shows your personal strength in the belief that no one is better than anyone else and we are all One.
Now, does this mean that we should go eat pizza 100% of the time? Absolutely not. This would be just another form of closing yourself off instead of opening up to the world, "letting go" to share your true self with them. There's a big world out there in which we are to go make mistakes. There's a big world in which we are to learn. Most importantly, there's a big world in which we are to share ourselves and our God given talents and those innate blessings and talents are only as strong as we recognize them to be.
Now there's another angle to this: Letting go and "letting people in" is all about trusting your instincts. We were born with amazing (mystical?) instincts and we should all listen to them a little more often. However, our "instincts" are seemingly not always born of the most positive energy in the world are they? When someone cuts us off in traffic, our "instinct" is not to love them, but to throw them the middle finger or worse yet get out of our car with a baseball bat!
News flash: These are not your instincts. This is not the way you were when you came out of your mother's womb. This is probably not even the way you were at 3 years old. But we adapt to the society that is around us, we learn from what we see and our true God given (Light given, whatever you want to call it) "instincts" get more and more corrupted as the years go on.
So when can we trust our instincts? When we understand that we are all One and that everyone is just as perfect as you and all mistakes are meant to be to learn from. When we no longer have Desire to Receive for the Self Alone and understand that our only job is to share no matter where we are and when, whether we're eating a pizza or at Church or anywhere in between. When we have certainty that this physical world is just an "illusion" and the spiritual energy realm makes up 99% of everything, leaving only the 1% that is this physical world where someone just cut you off and it's so unimportant that you won't even remember it 10 mins. from now.
So, boys and girls, here's how I see it. It is a three-step program. When you find yourself in need of listening to your instincts and "letting go":
1. Remove the illusion. Remember the 1% realm that we are immersed in as opposed to the 99% realm that we need to be tapped into.
2. Remove the Desire to Receive for the Self Alone. Understand that we are all perfect and all One under the Creator and that our goal is to share with each other.
3. Listen to your instincts. You've now created, through steps 1 and 2, a path to where you can reach your true self, the person you were when you came out of the womb. It's still there, ya know? Now that you're clear, listen to yourself. Go inside. You'll find all your answers there. Never second guess it.
When the person in traffic cuts you off, stop and realize this is something only of the 1% physical world that you are dealing with. Then remember that we are all perfect, including that person who just cut you off, and we are all One. Then listen to your instinct and I guarantee you that it will be filled with positivity and love for your fellow man. And if you are in a moment where you forget to follow these steps and you reach for that baseball bat, do not beat yourself up with it. That's just as awful. Because you are still perfect. And that was meant to be. And we are all on our own path. And be greatful for that moment of negativity because you just learned from it and have grown.
Wow, if we all lived by these rules, maybe world peace would be possible after all.
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posted by Jason Sechrest | 7:08 AM
10 Comments:
Derrick,
YAY! At last, a post that really dives in! :-)
<< If having been a creation of God makes us perfect, and the devil is also a creation of God, would that mean that the devil is perfect? >>
I'd like to think so. I think it would certainly lessen his power, wouldn't it? I believe that God created darkness because we asked for it. That is the Kabbalistic theory, that we can not handle the silver platter, as in Genesis. So, God created darkness because we wanted to earn the Light, but He couldn't give it to us without a way out of it and an even brighter light at the end of it. Thus, there's something positive to be pulled from every negative and there are gifts in every challenge we face.
<< I am a strong believe in angels and I'm kind of debating on whether we have demons as well. I am NOT trying to sound like some sinister, snake or some whack-job, but I'm looking at things from a logical point of view and philosophizing for a moment here. >>
You never will be looked upon that way here. This is a place where you should feel free to philosophize, question everything and talk out loud.
<< That brings me down to a theory I have derrived based on pure logic. God is nor good or evil. God is balance. God is everything. God is all around us and God is in each and every one. God is perfect, but being perfect is different from being good or evil. >>
Mmm... that's interesting. God is definitely everything, but I'm not sure I'm buying into him not being "good" in its purest form. I'm not saying I don't either, but I need you to convince me more. Here's what Kabbalists subscribe to regarding your theory. Try this on for size and let me know what you think: Darkness is illusion and doesn't really exist. Everything you see around you right now is an illusion. Even a scientist will tell you that. Everything is protons and neutrons and atoms. Energy. This computer is made up of something more than it's parts. What we see in the physical world is only 1% compared to the 99% spiritual world that is out there. That's why we were given this world. This is our cross to bare. To eventually realize that the physical is immaterial. Darkness only exists within the illusion of the physical world to bring us closer to the 99% realm of Light, which makes darkness not darkness at all but just Light that has yet to be illuminated. The "illusion" is the physical world and the reality is that nothing can ever disturb the divine connection between you and the Creator. The physical realm itself is the illusion, it's our "test" and our "game" and the physical realm is filled with darkness. That's it's place. Am I making any sense at all? LOL
<< In each case scenario, no matter what you choose, realize your options first. >>
Mmm... simplifed. I like. I should've thought of that. LOL, fuck my three-step program!
xox
L,
J.
Sammy, indeed! Tori has really turned me onto Jungian psychology and his spiritual archetypes, which is also closely associated with many Kabbalists. I am reading "Piece By Piece" currently and am waiting to get "The Psychology of Transference" by Carl Jung in the mail. xox L, J.
Derrick,
<< I don't believe matter to be an illusion. The concrete part of our physical world that is compiled of protons, neutrons, electrons, and the more advanced negatrons, etc. energize themselves into objects that we can touch. These objects are bound by physical laws; The same laws that our bodies are bound by. I believe that there are other forms of energy (known and unknown) that are illusions. Light, for example is made up of photons. Light can be manipulated to be percieved as physical objects that can cause us to react to light in the same manner we would if we'd encounter something concrete. >>
Well, then ultimately we agree that matter is illusion. You just said it yourself. Light being manipulated to be perceived as physical? Exactly. And therefore that physical, that matter, would be the illusion. The light was the Truth. Hmmm? ;-)
<< I don't think that God created darkness, I think that the darkness was in us since he first created us. >>
I don't know that we were dark initially so much as just bored. LOL Go back to Genesis. We can't deal with being handed Everything on the silver platter. It still was not enough. Why? Because we didn't earn it. So, a world of obstacles (dark) were created because that's what we desired to make us complete and God only gives. I don't believe in a vengeful God and I don't believe that we were born of sin. The Catholics have interpreted it in their own way and that's fine, but that's not how I interpret it. The Bible is far too great a book to be looked at as just words. It must be looked at beyond the surface. We must analyze it and ask: What is this "really" saying? What is this a metaphor for? And how can we relate it to the world today? That said, does it not say in the Bible that we are born "into" sin. Not in sin and not of sin, but "into" it.
<< Yes you make perfect sense. Nothing has effected our connection to the Creator, directly, but I can attest to times when I lose the ability to realize that there is a connection. >>
And those would be times when you focus on things of the physical world and are fooled (illusion!) into forgetting the "connection" is there because how the connection affects our physical lives (how the Light affects the Illusion) is only as strong as we recognize it to be.
<< We are all god-like (having part of God in us), but I believe that the environment God gave us helps keep our true, divine abilities in check. >>
Exactly.
<< There are always loopholes to every law and rule: Do you believe in miracles? ;) >>
Hmm... I'm not sure why you ended on this note. Loopholes. Are you trying to imply that there is only one path to the Light? Because I don't believe that either. LOL - A fixed destination can have many paths leading to it. Saying that thre is only one always seems to me a holier than though attitude no matter how you slice that Wonder Bread. I'm not sure that's even exactly what you're implying though. Clarify?
xox
L,
J.
Derrick, Ahhh... thanks for the clarification. I couldn't agree more. Nothing is perfect and therefore everything is perfect. LOL And yes, Kabbalah is very, very big on miracles. In fact, one of the 72 Names of God is "Miracle Making" (Samech Yud Tet) and for Kabbalists is to be meditated upon to help us bring them into actualization. Kabbalah is really big on us having no idea how great our capability actually is. I was just listening to a lecture online this morning where the Rabbi said, "If we only knew how great our capabilities are, we would surely get up dance for joy for hours and hours on end. It is unfathomable what we are capable of, having been born in His image." Many blessings to you, Derrick. You are a great light! xox L, J.
JS,
I’ve had the pleasure of watching you do your thing during Cocktails with the Stars at Mickey’s (or the ‘Petting Zoo’, as I call it). This blog of yours is such a treat. I have struggled with spirituality as a ‘lone gunman’ for the last 10 years. I am also 26, and I have taken the best that I could out of the Christian tradition without wallowing in feelings of betrayal (towards the catholic church of my parents). Sometimes, I don’t do that very successfully. I wholly subscribe to Tori Amos’ pizza days and I’ve called the delivery guy on occasion. I have tried to find people who are unafraid to trod an unidentified spiritual path… to explore with. I’ve never thought that sexuality and faggotry and spirituality pushed each other out of an Euler diagram. However, most people I’ve met are either ‘recovering (fill in the blank)’ and just balk at any mention of spirituality, or they’re joining some trendy non-denom church to find a cute husband. It’s been a lonely part of me for years.
I’ve been thinking about kabbalah for a few months now, especially when a straight friend of mine recommended the book on fear. I’ve always felt that my spirituality was more primal and instinctive. That when I prayed, I wasn’t praying to a giant pie-baker in the sky but a god that slept within. I refrained from sharing this with most people I knew because I hate the feeling of butting heads against closed minds. (maybe I don’t give people enough credit). The last thing I want is to be an outcast in my own gay world.
So, my question to you is, how did you get started? My Jewish friends tell me that Zohar is not to be studied until after you are 40. which means Torah first. What is YOUR experience? What point of the 3,000 years of tradition did you choose to penetrate at your moment of choice?
Just another young man looking to another young man for advice. The elders can be quite jaded sometimes.
Antonio Tan Llenado
P.S. congrats on finding love. I’m glad you know what that’s like. I want you to know that even if the circumstances of life force you to abandon that relationship, the love never disappears. Independent of both of you, it grows and takes on a life of its own. It becomes a touchstone that you can always come back to – like a power switch that gives strength whenever you access it. It will isnpire you to write. It will give you the depth that you were trying to reach when you ‘failed’ at bobbie’s studio. It will give you something more true than the truth. I have been in love with the same person for over 5 years now. We havent been together for the last three years. I’ve slept with many but never wanted anyone else. Always drawn to that perfect monogamy where I didn’t even Look at other people when we were together. To this day, when I vist him in europe (or when he visits me in LA), it’s like we never ended. It is always fresh and always real. He inspires me to write (still), and I inspire him to be a better person. I wish that this was something gay men could teach themselves. Perhaps we wouldn’t be so mean to each other, no?
Cheers.
Antonio,
Bless your heart! You must read my latest entry on Pisces. Because you need to smile a lot more often. I've been there so I can tell.
<< I have struggled with spirituality as a ‘lone gunman’ for the last 10 years. I am also 26, and I have taken the best that I could out of the Christian tradition without wallowing in feelings of betrayal (towards the catholic church of my parents). Sometimes, I don’t do that very successfully. I wholly subscribe to Tori Amos’ pizza days and I’ve called the delivery guy on occasion. I have tried to find people who are unafraid to trod an unidentified spiritual path… to explore with. I’ve never thought that sexuality and faggotry and spirituality pushed each other out of an Euler diagram. However, most people I’ve met are either ‘recovering (fill in the blank)’ and just balk at any mention of spirituality, or they’re joining some trendy non-denom church to find a cute husband. It’s been a lonely part of me for years. >>
Unfortunately, some churches, especially Christian and Catholic, have taken all spirituality and compassion out of the system and it has completely corrupted the concept of Jesus Christ. However, I do believe that it is the path for some people. We all are at different stages of development and everyone has their own way of reaching the divine. I would like to believe there is more than one path to that destination. And who am I to say that their path is wrong? Either way, even if it's Satan's view of Christ that they're worshiping, it's just more "challenge" in the world, which leads to more gifts. It's all good, ya know?
Never feel lonely though. I'd always rather be by myself than surrounded by negative energy that is not yet ready to transform. I think Madonna said it best in one of her songs: "I know the road looks lonely, but that's just Satan's game."
<< I’ve been thinking about kabbalah for a few months now, especially when a straight friend of mine recommended the book on fear. >>
"The Monster Is Real" ?? Did you read it? What did you think? Powerful stuff!
<< So, my question to you is, how did you get started? My Jewish friends tell me that Zohar is not to be studied until after you are 40. which means Torah first. What is YOUR experience? What point of the 3,000 years of tradition did you choose to penetrate at your moment of choice? >>
Horse hockey! LOL... They've also been saying that The Zohar can only be studied by men. That's archaic and ancient history! The power of the Hebrew letters alone, even if you don't know what in the hell your reading, will fill you with so much Light and it truly does create a shield, protecting you from negativity during the moments you study it (at least, I can feel it!), much less trying to decifer the English translations beneath the original text.
But! I'm getting way ahead of myself here. I did not start studying The Zohar until last December. Up until then, for the past seven years I have read the books written by the Bergs, the founders of The Kabbalah Centre. These books ("The Monster Is Real," for example) can be a very "dumbed down" version of Kabbalah, but this is intense stuff, man. We all need a dumbed down version of it. Their books put everything in such simplistic terms that we can not only understand it, but relate it to our every day existence and take it with us.
I will be posting an entry soon all about Kabbalah for Beginners and it will include a list of materials I would suggest studying first. Look for it soon! :-)
As for my own personal delve into Kabbalah, I, like any good fag, was influenced by Madonna. But I latched onto it when she first started getting interested in it, way back in 1998 when Ray of Light was released. I have always been kind of old for my age and realized at 18 that up until that point, my life, especially in high school, had been a series of the highest highs and the lowest lows and when I looked in the mirror, I wasn't happy with the person I was. I loved the album and had been worshipping Madonna herself since I was 13, so why not subscribe to her spirituality or at least explore it? I am proud to say that seven years later, I'm still studying and I am not, what everyone thought at the time, was another fad-seeker who just wanted to wear a red string around his wrist to look fashionable. When I moved to Los Angeles, I had a friend who visited the Kabbalah Centre often and she took me to a few seminars. I've always enjoyed my time there, especially in the bookstore, but I have always enjoyed studying at home much more. I can take extensive notes that way and really focus without distraction.
In closing, SMILE! And thank you so much for the kind words. I do hope that you come back to KabbalahCurious.com often! :-)
L,
J.
P.S.: I am going to post your email in the Comments section of one of the blogs, if you don't mind, as well as my reply. Feel free to respond to it there as well. I like to think of the site as a place where everyone can read each other's comments, responses, share their own personal experiences, etc. Look for the link to "Comments" at the bottom of each blog. There's a separate
Comments section for every entry. Thanks! xox
The Vedas say, "Whatever you do, keep doing, whatever you suffer, keep suffering. The only thing you must change is your heart."
Flexelf, That is an interesting quote! I think "heart" could also be replaced with "consciousness" though. A lot times I find it's not the act of what I'm doing, but how I view what I'm doing that is most important. Although, usually the consciousness that is correct is one that comes from the heart, so ultimately you're probably right. LOL ;-) xox L, J.
Check out this introduction article on Astrology and numerology:
Astrology_and_numerology
Astrology, that link doesn't work unfortunately! :-( L, J.
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