The Break-Up: A Shift In Energy

BREAKING NEWS:

Jason is single.

Alert the media.

Okay, that was hard to write even.

After a year of being with Mikey, who was my best friend for five years before that, the two of us have separated for reasons that I won’t go into to protect his privacy. We just aren’t at a place where we can have a healthy relationship right now and the most loving thing we can do for each other is to let each other go. After all the pain that we have been through, it will be hard enough to salvage the friendship, but I think we’re going to do our best to rebuild it and not make it so co-dependent this time around. There is also a part of me that holds out hope that someday we can make it work, but at the same time I know that I can’t hold onto the past and progress into the future. That tie has to be severed.

So, the most important thing: What have I learned?

Well, I’ve learned that the apple doesn’t fall very far. I, like my mother, seem to consistently get into relationships with men who are destructive in one form or another. I have a tendency to want to “fix” people so I go for wounded souls that maybe aren’t at a point where they’d like to be fixed or at least aren’t mended to the point where they can truly share their lives with me.

The good news is that I’ve learned I can make myself vulnerable with someone! And that for the right person, I can get past my intimacy issues. And through dating my best friend, I really learned that, for me, the friendship aspect is what should take priority in relationships. Unfortunately, most of us come at relationships from a foundation of lust and romance. We eye each other across the room, we’re attracted to each other, there’s an intensity and it grows from there. But lust and romance can be found on a dance floor any night of the week. They aren’t precious rarities. Even the mere definition of romance is “an often short-lived fascination” or “an embellished emotion.” Something Mikey and I had going for us is that we didn’t start our relationship from lust and romance. We started from five years as best friends and it taught me that what matters to me most in relationships is whether or not you can take care of each other better than anyone else, cares about each other more than anyone else, will nurture each other in sickness, inspire each other, be your best friend. Lust and romance should certainly be a part of the equation, but nowhere near the highlight of a relationship with someone. Lust and romance die. Love does not. I’ll be looking for someone who agrees with me on those priorities next go around, though at the moment it’s hard for me to envision myself with anyone but him.

We broke up last Wednesday, on the Summer Solstice interestingly enough and we had a tumultuous few days following that before we came to amicable conclusions by the change into the New Moon at the end of the weekend. There’s a huge shift in energy right now.

Neil tells me that astrologically it’s a time of cutting away what’s no longer working for us and that something has to end before there can be a new beginning. He says we’re going into an entirely new lunar period that will focus a lot on emotions and spirituality, including:

A new look at Water - especially its pollution, state of purity etc
Water talking to us - rain, tsunamis, the ocean, rivers, streams, ponds, fish, ice
Emotions - the need to let go of old, dead-wood feelings
Spirituality - a new desire to connect with something larger than ourselves
A drive to tap into your psychic energies, follow our intuition
More collective experiences with the 'other realms'
New movies focusing on Pisces material - ghosts, spirits, psychic energy, magic
Some great works - amazing new ethereal artists, singers, poets
More Goddess respect
A new focus on the underdog in society - and a peek into hospitals, prisons, monasteries, places of retreat
A collective hunger for yoga and other body-spirit connective disciplines

I think it’s just time to grow. The problem is, my friendship/relationship with Mikey has become so much more than just that. It’s become a crutch. And living without him in my life every day is like learning how to walk again.

“A child that hides behind a chair, almost afraid to grow without you there. Whisper words that make you see what you’ve come to mean to me. Through your love I’d seen forever, we became as one. I never saw you turn away. My love was blind. You call me when your storm is over, crying over love that I can give you. ‘Cause it’s so hard letting go. And it’s so hard not to cry. And when the love is gone, then one of us will know. It’s so hard letting go.” - Barbra Streisand, Letting Go


JASON'S OTHER SITES:
JasonCurious.com
JasonSechrest.com
DV8Entertainment.com


RELATED SITES:
Kabbalah.com
72.com - Technology for the Soul
The Zohar - Weekly Studies
Weekly Kabbalah Wisdom
Weekly Kabbalah Astrology
Exclusively Kabbalah Group
The Logos
New World Astrology
SpiritualityforKids.com


Have questions? Need advice? Want to share? EMAIL Jason at jason@jasonsechrest.com

Secrets of Gemini: Good Twin, Bad Twin

It seems we're always half way through the month by the time I get around to posting about the energy available for corrections during these weeks in accordance to Kabbalistic wisdom and astrology. The thing that sucks about that is there's only a couple of weeks left. The thing that rocks about that is that when you read it, you'll be able to say, "Wow, that's exactly what I've been going through the past two weeks!" as opposed to unconsciously applying it to your future. And that, my friends, is exactly what this period of Gemini and the month of June is all about: The glass is half full and the glass is half empty.

There is darkness and light in everything and this is especially important to remember in relation to ourselves and other people. For when we remember it, all judgment fades. Charles Manson? Eh, I'm sure he had his reasons. Was what he did wrong? Absolutely. Can I judge? No, because I have it in me to become him if his life (and past life and spiritual life) experiences had happened to me. I also have it in me to become Mother Theresa. This idea is symbolized by Gemini's sign of the two twins.

One very important element of Kabbalah that is often overlooked or forgotten is that darkness and negativity, the evil twin in all of us, is not something to run from. When we say, "No, I'm going to push it out of my mind, I banish evil, it does not exist!" we are only making that negativity stronger because we are lying to ourselves, putting more negative energy onto our shoulders. And like any disease, the longer you ignore it, the stronger it will get.

The energy is available this month to walk into the darkness and find the light hiding within it. Remember that God is in everything. Find the positive in the negative. This is not easy to do, people! Walking into darkness and changing ourselves, transforming ourselves for the better so our spirit is elevated closer to the Light and so that we have more to contribute to this world, is the hardest and most important work you'll ever do. There's a lot of people out there who don't want to work hard. There's a lot of people out there who are afraid to confront darkness in and outside of themselves. This is why Christianity is so prevalent today. Any Christian will tell you that you are incapable of such things, that you must pray and repent to rid yourself of darkness instead of actually doing the work yourself with the Light of the Creator that is within all of us. And this is why so many cry, "Where are you, God? Why have you forsaken me?"

Christianity and many other dogmatic religions promote the idea of, instead of confronting something, running from it. And that is fine if it works for them. For some people, that is their path and I believe everyone has their own direct line to dialing God. What works for me will not work for others. But for me, I know wherever you run, there you are. And that darkness will still be right behind you until you turn around to face it. Embrace it, even, knowing that it is necessary part of us; without darkness, there can be no light.

Something very important to keep in mind while doing this work and going into the darkness: When you find things about yourself that you don't like, don't beat yourself up over it! It is only a sign of how much light can be revealed. Rejoice that you have recognized it because that is the first step! You aren't supposed to be perfect here on Earth. God has angels in heaven. He needs people here on Earth, human beings who have been blessed with darkness and light within them, so that they can transform themselves and help make the world a better place.

There is a great story in the Torah about Rebecca being pregnant with the twins, Jacob and Esav. At first, she didn't know she was carrying twins. When she would walk by a place of holiness, she would feel one side of her belly kick. When she would walk by a place of darkness and negativity, she would feel the other side of her belly kick. She became so frightened, so concerned that her child was unable to make a decision between good and evil, that she went see a Rabbi who told her that she was pregnant with twins. He told her that one, Jacob, would have the most tremendous soul and be one of the most enlightened beings of his day, but that the other, Esav, would be filled with negativity and carry a most darkened soul. Rebecca shed tears of joy and exclaimed that she was relieved. The Rabbi assumed her happiness was out of being mother to someone with such a tremendous soul as Jacob, but Rebecca said, no, that she was joyous for giving birth to a child like Esav. Why? She told him it was because Esav will have more opportunity to connect to the greatest light of the Creator, more potential for growth, and that is what our purpose is here on Earth. Jacob's future was limited. Esav's was limitless; for he had a chance to one day "wake up" and shine a brighter light than Jacob's due to his long sleep.

I love that story. It's sort of like imagining what life would be like had you lived in a cave for many, many years. Stepping out of it, the sun would seem so much brighter to you than it would to regular person who goes outside and experiences sunlight every day, wouldn't it?

I have a story of my own about embracing both light and dark within me. Interestingly enough, this happened just days before we went into the Gemini cycle when I was visiting a church in Paris, Sainte-Chappelle, known for having the most intricate and extensive stained glass display in the world. The windows span nearly the entire length of floor to ceiling and its just one after another after another after another. The church says that the windows have magical powers, which is interesting because Catholics usually denounce the word "magic" so heavily. After some research online, I found that the church was built over an old temple to Pagan goddess, Isis, so that might have something to do with the "magic." But in the dark corner of this amazing church, I found two gargoyles that had fallen from the church's exterior. There were lots of gargoyles on the outside of the church which are used frequently in cathedrals to keep evil spirits out. (They're also used as water spouts, interestingly enough, as water is the only element that has the ability to transform.)

I was so intensely drawn to these two gargoyles that had fallen, the one on the far left and the one on the far right in the picture above. They seriously called to me, I've never experienced anything like it. With the magic of the stained glass all around me, I walked to them, pushed aside in the corner with no one paying them any attention whatsoever and they started speaking to me. At first, it was like radio frequency coming in scratchy until I could figure out what was going on. The one on the left was speaking a foreign language (Latin?) I couldn't understand and the one on the right was serving as translator. The message I was getting is that all of the gargoyles felt incredibly used. They were saddened by the church's lack of understanding and these two had fallen in hopes of finding something better, someone who would understand the power of darkness embraced as opposed to the weakness of trying to shut it out or deny it. "They shun us and yet use us, beg of us to keep our own kind out," they said. While the other gargoyles did dutifully as they were told, these two had a different path. "We could stand here no longer." They said they would come with me only if I promised to always embrace them as well as the light, to never deny both sides of myself and remember that there is darkness and light within all of us, that there can't be one without the other. "Embrace us and we will protect you, guide you and help bring you light and the everlasting beauty you see shining through these walls. Like our beautiful house of stained glass you see here, there can be no beauty without light but there can be no light without darkness."

I carry their spirits with me now, one on each shoulder, my left and my right.

We must all do our work this month to find the dark in ourselves and confront it. When do we see ourselves reacting? When do we see ourselves being violent? Being lazy? When, even in the good deeds we do, are our intentions truly for our own agenda? The answer to that one is almost always! Do not be brought down by realizing this darkness within yourself, but embrace it and rejoice that it is there. Love that you have found it because you have faith that you can and will do the work to change it. If you can't see that and you just beat yourself up or you run away every time you see something negative in you, it is an imbalanced attack on yourself.

Imbalance is not of the Light. Light is justice and balance. Justice and balance is black and white, good and bad. Embrace both sides. They're there for a reason.

We have the ability to transform all darkness, physical and otherwise, into light and to end pain and suffering within this world, but only through recognizing and embracing that the darkness and the light exists in all and only through one personal transformation at a time.



JASON'S OTHER SITES:
JasonCurious.com
JasonSechrest.com
DV8Entertainment.com


RELATED SITES:
Kabbalah.com
72.com - Technology for the Soul
The Zohar - Weekly Studies
Weekly Kabbalah Wisdom
Weekly Kabbalah Astrology
Exclusively Kabbalah Group
The Logos
New World Astrology
SpiritualityforKids.com


Have questions? Need advice? Want to share? EMAIL Jason at jason@jasonsechrest.com

Embraced By The Moon

Since I started this blog a few months ago, I have been getting much deeper into the more "magical" elements of Kabbalah and the further I go, the more I find it often correlates directly with Wicca. This is just another example of Kabbalah's flexibility; though often touted as "Jewish" mysticism, it can be incorporated into any religious belief. (Or none at all!) Shaping energy, creating magic, connecting with the archangels, the following of astrology, all of these things are prevalent in both Kabbalah and Wicca.

Now, I wouldn't say I am Wiccan by any means. I wouldn't say I'm Jewish either. I tend to study all religions I can get my hands on and find the core, the common thread throughout them all.

I first became interested in Wicca on my trip to London and Paris where so many cathedrals had been built over Pagan worship sites and temples. I felt so sensitive to the energy there, not from the nuns but from Isis and the gargoyles. I figured something was calling to me and it was time to pick up a few new books and study. (The "Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner" series has been very useful!) I found it fascinating that Wicca was not at all devil worship. In fact, they worship God like any other religion, they just find it easier to connect to God's essence through deities like the ancient Greeks and early Romans. But during the time of Constantine and the Christian movement, everyone was forced to convert to Christianity. Those who did not comply were literally labeled "free thinkers" and to put public shame upon them, the government said, "Well, if you're not a Jesus worshiper, then you're a devil worshiper!" and thus, any one found so much as worshiping nature was tortured and put to death. In the name of Jesus Christ, of course. Lovely.

In the last 48 hours, Kabbalah astrology has spoken a lot about the importance of this particular Full Moon and how we have the energy available during these days to cut out that which is no longer working in our lives. No coincidence, of course, I find the Wicca I'm studying is highly rooted in matters of the Full Moon. It is their symbol of the Goddess, who is to be worshiped equal as the God. Wiccans pray by the moon on a regular basis, but at times when it is at its most powerful, the Full Moon, they perform full on rituals to bring that energy into their lives.

Fantastic! So I perform some Wicca with a dash of Kabbalah for spice and set up my own nightly ritual, worshiping the Full Moon and the Earth, speaking to the Goddess, and trying never to forget it is just a portal, another connection to a higher power I can't possibly comprehend. I lit white candles and let them burn out (par for the course during Full Moon rituals), bought white flowers and set up an altar to welcome the spirit into my home, took long walks at night, even prayed in the park focusing on the things in my life that are no longer working and those parts of myself I'm ready to be rid of. I called upon the Goddess and asked for Her help while realizing that ultimately, I help myself with her guidance.

Last night while studying Kabbalah's Zohar book of the week (the books you read each week correlate to astrology too and the energy available during those days), I came across a passage about asking God to reverse justice with mercy in our lives. I thought, "Well, that sounds like Goddess territory to me." So I went to Goddess to get to The Holy One by the light of the Full Moon and for mercy in areas of my life instead of justice, and recognizing that God is within me, I made a vow to be more merciful and less judgmental with people in my own life.

Throughout all of this work over the past two days, I also asked for a sign so that I would know She was with me. After all, this is the first time I've tried any of this. I'd like to know the right people are listening!

I got a few signs actually. There were moments when I would speak to Her or prepare Her altar when the lights would flicker in the house. At one point, I had been awake all evening and the sun was coming up and as soon as I'd said, "Amen," and concluded the prayer, at that very second the night lights outside my apartment went out with the coming of the dawn. On Sunday evening, I took a bath after the park ritual and my boyfriend walked in from being out at a club. He saw me there in the tub and was mesmerized, having no idea what I'd just been through. "Wow," he said, eyes wide. "You need a photo like that. You look like some sort of God." ("Goddess," I secretly thought to myself.) He kneeled and began washing me and instead of feeling superior or reveling in it, I loved him with all of my being and connected to him on an intense level at that moment, opening myself up and becoming as emotionally vulnerable as he had in that moment.

I was disappointed though that with all the clouds in the sky here in Los Angeles lately, I had not actually been able to see the Full Moon for myself and this is supposedly one of the best ways to connect.

This morning though, just as the moon was going from 100% full to 99% full, around 5:00 am (PT), I awakened to take my dog out for a walk. I accidentally walked through a spider web (more female energy, more nature) that forced me to look up towards the sky and there, right between two apartment buildings, parting the darkest clouds shone the Full Moon right in front of myself, as though it were meant just for me. I wanted a photo of it and considered going in to get my camera, but I saw it was moving swiftly and would soon sink beneath the clouds again. It was whispering, "Fuck the camera, Jason. Live here. Be in the present." And so I did and I had about 60 seconds to stand there in awe of it before it departed.

I felt like I knew in that moment, all of my prayers had been answered and a new cycle had begun.

Personal Note: Things I've bled during this Full Moon -- Extremism, approval seeking and wanting what I don't have instead of living in the present.



JASON'S OTHER SITES:
JasonCurious.com
JasonSechrest.com
DV8Entertainment.com


RELATED SITES:
Kabbalah.com
72.com - Technology for the Soul
The Zohar - Weekly Studies
Weekly Kabbalah Wisdom
Weekly Kabbalah Astrology
Exclusively Kabbalah Group
The Logos
New World Astrology
SpiritualityforKids.com


Have questions? Need advice? Want to share? EMAIL Jason at jason@jasonsechrest.com

Where's Neil When You Need Him?

"Seems I keep getting this story twisted. So where's Neil when you need him?" - Tori Amos, Space Dog

I've yet to find a prophet of the stars as spot on as British astrologer, Neil D. Paris.

Neil has been doing his thing for over thirteen years and specializes in Natal Astrology, Relationship Compatibility, Past Lives Analysis, Life Purpose & Destiny Directions as found in the Astrological Birth Chart.

I highly recommend purchasing one of his in-depth Natal Reports that explores your own personal birth chart. They read practically like therapy sessions, giving great enlightenment into why you react to certain things the way you do, why you're drawn to certain people and circumstances. You might just even gain some insight on what your specific "correction" or goal here on Earth is this time around. (Tell him Jason sent you and maybe he'll give you a discount. ...Maybe he won't, but maybe he will! LOL)

Still, there's a wealth of knowledge Neil offers up for free on a near daily basis. His blogs unconsciously call to the likes of Kabbalah and even Wicca as he incorporates tarot and spiritual work into his readings. He'll read you like a book!

Neil's latest blog focuses on the upcoming Full Moon this Monday. If you feel you've been staring down inner demons, don't blink and work your personal magic until you've finally sent them scrambling on Monday. This particular Full Moon brings about great change for all of us, specifically letting go of that which is no longer working. For specifics on your own sign, visit his blog: http://newworldastrology.blogspot.com/.

I'm also adding a link to his official site on the side bars, also worth checking out.


JASON'S OTHER SITES:
JasonCurious.com
JasonSechrest.com
DV8Entertainment.com


RELATED SITES:
Kabbalah.com
72.com - Technology for the Soul
The Zohar - Weekly Studies
Weekly Kabbalah Wisdom
Weekly Kabbalah Astrology
Exclusively Kabbalah Group
The Logos
New World Astrology
SpiritualityforKids.com


Have questions? Need advice? Want to share? EMAIL Jason at jason@jasonsechrest.com